it's just.....

WOW my last blog post was... 4 months ago?!
HOW DOES TIME GO PAST SO FAST omg
i remember constantly wanting to blog; having a mountain of feels accumulated in me to pour everything out in this goddamn space but well... haven't done so in a long while?

Having so many thoughts and mixed feelings now. I feel like in uni, I'm pretty much alone.
I have lovely people who will always be with me forever and always (lol hahaha) and they know who they are (I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS) but there are just things you have to go through alone.
things that you need to realise by yourself, things you need to feel yourself.
No doubt that everyone more or less are the same, whereby we go through the same struggles (albeit difference in context and situations) and even feel the same, but the way we percieve these experiences are so so so diverse and different.

Anyhoooooo things have been pretty stressful for me :(
not in a bad way though, I just need to weed myself out from the holiday mood.

i wanna be mysterious heheh I typed out a chunk of stuff but removed it.
*twiddles brows*

sigh I am exhausted and I will blog another night.
1
I have so much to type but just so little energy to pput them into words; what a waste

blue & black

(found this in my drafts! Must've forgotten to post it~)

Herrooo haven't been on this site in ages (approx one month lol)

starting to get used to this bum life; and surrendering to the aimlessness of this holiday.

but hey it's not too bad I guess, this is the only time I have to not be commited to work or studies!

only regret is not being able to go overseas

or getting that supposed bikini ready bod by June hahahaha I kid

but gosh I need to get fitter sighz

I've lost 6kg since A lvls ended, but it's all gonna come back after I start studying sobs

& wellllll I kinda don't like the flabby state my body is in now

0 muscles much flab :(

I love my body now, just that I wanna tone it up a little so I won't jiggle so much hahaha

and health wise

duh

5th JUNE

Yippeeee got to hang out with Brionnnn Louiseeee Tracyyyy

Once again I was late though I wish I wasn't but I still was.

I am so sorry :'''''(

after trekking to Rendevous Hotel, RAN INTO TRACE HOORAY

And we booked a place in Teoheng, and went to buy BK!

SUPER HUNGRY WHILE I AM TYPING THIS  SIGH 

Smuggled our meal into teoheng (actually idk if eating is allowed so we just smuggled in case it wasn't hahaha)

Spammed Disney songs and I tried to break some glass while Trace sang beautifully

I swear this girl has an amazing voice!!!!!

Hope I didn't spoil your ear drums / memories you have of the songs I sang hahaha

After singing K we ventured to Orchard!!!!!!!!

Not before stopping for Bux along the way, & some photo spam at Istana Park heh.

LOOK AT TRACE'S FISH EYE LENS 235MM WIDE (if i'm not wrong)

Like in this photo I'm just pointing the camera at my shoes and it captures the entire of my dress and Tracy who is standing pretty far from me!

what a wonder

My pimple refuses to go away

:-(

After the photo spam we went to Orchard hooray!

STAY HOME SUNDAY

STAY HOME SUNDAY TODAY!

BAKED SOME (ALOT) COOKIES

then did my nails.

I swear I live the penniless tai tai life nowadays hehe

 SMURF CARNAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and a glorious half eaten chocolate brownie cookie

ah, bask in it's chocolatey sweet goodness

and extra soft centre

the epitome of nice crisp crust and soft az hell centre

(shamelessly trying to promote this cookie because.....i baked too much )

hehe this is my right hand!

Decided to give black a try and wala 

it isn't too bad when you look at it from afar lol

HEY THERE
So far my holidays have been nothing of what I thought of when I was studying for A levels..
VIVVVVV please get your act together and stop assing around ugh

It seems that all my previous ambitions have faltered slightly anddddddd I can't say I've fully given up the fight for my spot in the unis I wanna go... but I feel more of resigned to where I can go.
It's not like it's too bad a place.. but i wish I had that courage, ambition, passion and diligence to pursue what i think, and wish to do...

I like listing down options, i don't know why.
Listing, then elaborating. here are some main ones lul

Poly----> Local Uni (SMU/NTU/NUS/SIT) ----> WERK

Hm, I'd have to actually know what the hell I wanna do

(if i am fucking lucky)
Some local uin accepts me and i get into my choice
************ideal situation. UNI PLS CALL ME *********************************

UniSIM -----> werk ------> PT studying of social sciences
UniSIM------> find a way to work in something related to social sciences --->branch out from there

there's a Chinese saying of 活 到 老，学 到 老
"for as long as one lives, one learns."

Assuming I have 60 more years to live (i rlly do hope so), I have so many more years to learn.
If i can't get what I want now, I can always get it later right?
I guess that's what many people are doing hahah. 

Took me so long to realise what I want isn't something that I actually have to do now. I  could  have that for dessert, right? Okay maybe the order of what types of food to eat in what sequential order (mmm that sounds weird but whatever) isn't the best analogy hur hur

I hope I know what's best for myself, really.

Been getting so much me=time, probably excessive, that I am starting to talk to myself even when I go out with people. not to an extreme point because what I talk about is related to the conversation topic we have, but still. not good viv not good.
Got a position as a camp facil and i am extremely excited for that!!!!!
Freaking love cohort/cca camps esp to campsites! Hope that I won't destroy anything hurhur

I kind of miss SR. Like the people, the shenanigans!
This photo was taken after some 20 minutes at the arcade machine outside the bubbletea shop, while we were having our dinner break from studying in sch hehe.

we seek solace in ourselves

Was supposed to update this space days ago but guess who procrastinated??
*raises up hands*

MUSEUM DAY 2015 
28 Jan


Met Trace at RC Bux! Guess who saw raffles city as raffle place and travelled all the way to Raffles Place MRT hahahaha and I was obviously late also
I really love my friends and am super super grateful to their ability to overlook my tardiness...
:')

So tray tray got her bux and cake, while I got some green tea frappe
SIGH I PREFER ICE BLENDED THOUGH T.T

Headed to Singapore Art Museum (SAM) with the ulterior motive to snap some cool photos with the exhibits here!
HERE'S ONE: THE WALL THAT BLEEDS BAD BLOOD
kidding idk what this is called but it's pretty cool

PLEASE NOTICE THE "some er" below omg

I couldn't find "summer" so i wanted to photoshop "summer time" below

but after an hour after the photo was taken I realised the "some-er" below

nyehehe fate must be pretty punny that day

 and this interesting exhibit... freaked us out. didn't know how to interpret this because we are 0.1 % artistically inclined only...thank goodness trace came with me..i would've ran out.

 Could be a human state of mind thing or a commemoration of some sort of event..

then at the last part THE CURTAINS AT THE BACK OPENED BY THEMSELVES AND LOUD CREEPY MUSIC BEGAN PLAYING AND IT FELT SO SCARILY MORBID IN THERE SO WE GOT THE F OUT OF THE PLACE

and out the exhibit handlers secretly laughing at us S  I  G  H 

 WE ARE MADE FOR SAM!!!! Hence Sam is our prince charming. No Sams in our lives yet though

 Off to the Still-Moving Exhibition! I don't know is it a literal thing or a pun..

but well didnt take alot of photos there! MAIN AIM: PHOTO BOOTH

 I like how these buildings look like a staircase to modernity

the white building is some old secondary school (Pres High i think?)

Then we headed to SNM to take photos with the walls hahaha

hey we had some pretty dope photos...i think

 Yup legs too short

 ON WEDNESDAYS WE WEAR BLACK

 Works behind a selfie

then she went off to her meeting anddddd hola it's Solo Tourist Viv time!

In museums you get to see some cute handmade exhibits like this:

GOT IN FOR FREEEE OH YEAH

"The Singapore government values heritage and believes it has positive externality on society hence seeks to increase society's consumption of the good thus place subsidies on ...."

hahaha so A level econ-ish

 SG STONE; always wanted to see this in real life rather than pictures!

The amazing thing about seeing relics in real life is that CAN YOU IMAGINE several hundred years or thousands of years ago, other people's gaze on this object held a totally different attitude to your own then ?? I really hope that researchers will manage to decipher whatever is written there within my lifetime heh. I would really like to know what was written there!

Such a pity; one of SG's oldest relic relatively disintegrated 

Singapore Stone is a fragment of a large sandstone slab which originally stood at the mouth of the Singapore River. The slab, which is believed to date back to at least the 13th century and possibly as early as the 10th or 11th century, bore an undec inscription. Recent theories suggest that the inscription is either in Old Javanese or in Sanskrit. It is likely that the person who commissioned the inscription was Sumatran. The slab was blown up in 1843 to clear and widen the passageway at the river mouth to make space for a fort and the quarters of its commander.

The slab may be linked to the legendary story of the 14th-century strongman Badang, who is said to have thrown a massive stone to the mouth of the Singapore River. On Badang's death, the Rajah sent two stone pillars to be raised over his grave "at the point of the straits of Singapura".

taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore_Stone

Japanese Occupation

 first ever public selfie!!!! took 5 mins to muster enough "skin" to do this hehe

Anyway this Singapura 700 was really interesting, but albeit a lil too short imo!
Fun time anyway! Museums and alone time fit together so well!
Next up, Changi Prison Museum on my list!

Crazy belated post

Haven't blogged bout so so so many things I really want to blog about!

ANYHOOO HELLO VIVIAN IS BACK AFTER ONE WEEK OF EMPLOYMENT AND SEVERAL OTHER WEEKS OF PROCRASTINATION

Things I have yet to blog about: AUSSIELAND TRIP (had a blast)

CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

SG50 CONCERT (saw BigBang hell yeahhhhh)

and some other random thoughts nehehe

SO ONE STEP AT A TIME. Went for the SG50 101 Percussion concert on 4 Jan!

It was held at the Botanic Gardens which  I must say, IS A GoRGEOUS PLACE.

it has always been one, but i haven't been there for family events in a long time, so I guess it's the company that made it all the better!!!

Armed with my DSLR (well yes it's kinda mine now because my bro uses some 2nd hand one nyehehe) and shorts that I need not constantly pull up (hurray) , I WAS READY TO TAKE SOME REALLY GORGEOUS SHOTS.

Here are some of my favourites!

OK i am kidding about the "some of my favourites" part.

These are the only photos that I have in my lappy presently, the rest are in the sd card which, to my greatest regret, are stowed in the camera which is in the camera box several feet away from me, and me, in a rather cold and very dark room so I DO NOT WANT TO MOVE hence the lack of photos.

Missing some people, but hey HELLO FAMILY PHOTO

everyone looking gorgeous because we be posing in a photo with Brenda! Super proud of her! :D

(ps my thighs frighten me)

This stage reminds me of an oyster;

it's inhabitants (the performers) are pecky specks of sand

roughed out and smoothened by layers of nacre

thus becoming the treasure iridescent gem in the oyster which is the pearl

tried to make it rhyme to no avail but hope this makes some sense

stage=oyster

performers=sand--->>>>>pearl

MEEEEP

life of the unemployed freeloader ain't so fun after all sigh pie.

ok gonna sleep soon because IT IS FIT DAY WITH LE CHARMY TOMORROW MORNING!

Gonna update or maybe make a new post real soon when I compile photos soon!

haven't written in a long while and i hope this post isn;t too incorrigible in terms of grammar and all the Englishy technical stuff!!

nyehehe bye

bleh

"How are your A levels?"

BAD really bad.
I'm just hoping that I have miscalculated the negativity of the situation I am in and that hopefully the bell curve will be to my favour and that maybe my abilities will surpass my expected capabilities.

Anyhoooo yesterday was the most crazy crying day ever.

So it started off with econs paper 1 in the morning.
I felt super prepared and ready to hopefully get my A.
Some pressure there, because I felt that if I didn't ace this paper I wouldnt get any "A"s at all.
During the paper I was just stumped and stupefied. I have done weirder questions before, but I dont know why these questions just seemed so odd to me.

Left many blanks because I was dumb enough to let my panic mode take over me. :(

So as usual, after the paper I teared up and kept tearing up over and over again till I reached home.
Thank God for the sweet friends who were there for me :')
Used my lap top to google all sorts of university options haaha there were only like 3.

1. STUDY OVERSEAS which is a no-no for me because  it would really be a hassle and as much as I'd like to study overseas I guess it would take a toll on my parents. I mean they'd be working so hard till they become so exhausted

2. Just go into a private university. but expensive....... :(

3. RETAKE YOUR A LVLs. If the time ever comes to this........ this will definitely be one of my options! i think.

ok yup then during all that I cried even more

Had lunch
went to nap

woke up and cried for a little while more.

Ate cheezels with kakak

went for a run
cried while walking home

parents came home. mum asked happily, can get A not? because econs is somewhat my pet subject.
cried again :((((

lap top had issues
cried again

kind of cried the entire night. NOW MY EYES ARE SWOLLEN

I have never cried so much over one paper EVER

Really need to step up my damn A levels game.

ok bye

I just realised that one of the decisions and action i made recently is going to go so damn wrong..
Gosh it isn't happening but I know something will definitely happen.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT HAPPEN.

My paranoia is going to consume me real bad.

wheeeeeeeeeee

So on a Wednesday of the LAST ACADEMIC WEEK Viv decided not to go school so hello from home! It feels really really extremely good to have enough sleep for once!

Feeling quite bad though, I mean I could be having some sort of fun in school with my friends but because of a relatively bad headache I had in the morning which was aggravated by a bad timetable (in my opinion) I decided to recuperate and rid of my headache and DO ALL THE SHIT I HAVE TO DO. Guess who had 11 hours of sleep.

ME.

Hahaha okay I wanted to blog about something but well I shall not because I guess that just came from the irrational part of me?

ok luv u whoever is reading imma go back to history