bleh

"How are your A levels?"

BAD really bad.
I'm just hoping that I have miscalculated the negativity of the situation I am in and that hopefully the bell curve will be to my favour and that maybe my abilities will surpass my expected capabilities.

Anyhoooo yesterday was the most crazy crying day ever.

So it started off with econs paper 1 in the morning.
I felt super prepared and ready to hopefully get my A.
Some pressure there, because I felt that if I didn't ace this paper I wouldnt get any "A"s at all.
During the paper I was just stumped and stupefied. I have done weirder questions before, but I dont know why these questions just seemed so odd to me.

Left many blanks because I was dumb enough to let my panic mode take over me. :(

So as usual, after the paper I teared up and kept tearing up over and over again till I reached home.
Thank God for the sweet friends who were there for me :')
Used my lap top to google all sorts of university options haaha there were only like 3.

1. STUDY OVERSEAS which is a no-no for me because  it would really be a hassle and as much as I'd like to study overseas I guess it would take a toll on my parents. I mean they'd be working so hard till they become so exhausted

2. Just go into a private university. but expensive....... :(

3. RETAKE YOUR A LVLs. If the time ever comes to this........ this will definitely be one of my options! i think.

ok yup then during all that I cried even more

Had lunch
went to nap

woke up and cried for a little while more.

Ate cheezels with kakak

went for a run
cried while walking home

parents came home. mum asked happily, can get A not? because econs is somewhat my pet subject.
cried again :((((

lap top had issues
cried again

kind of cried the entire night. NOW MY EYES ARE SWOLLEN

I have never cried so much over one paper EVER

Really need to step up my damn A levels game.

ok bye