.

I feel like i fail at everything I do.
My studies, in sports, in maintaining positive relationships with people, in sooo many aspects.
They always say that everyone is special and good at something.

I don't think this applies to me.
Everytime I think I am getting the hang of a topic or a subject, something just pops out of the blue and mindblows me and poof i'm back to being as clueless as hell.
Then I start losing out and drifting away during tutorials and lectures and start failing my tests...

Not that I am currently dwelling in self-pity, (this isn't something to be pitiful about) but i don't know why its just so difficult for me to do things right.
(THE ANSWER LIES IN YOU VIVIAN THE ANSWER LIES IN YOU.)
Like when I went to work in this local retail store.
I can only conclude- I am too terrified of terrifying people, and I can only do things that involve routine, even though they are boring. And I panic when customers see me being a trainee and see me as a target where they can squash me with all the weirdest possible questions they have.

HAH kidding about the last part, but I learnt that it IS sadly but really important to be street-smart and important to have the gift of the gab in the working world.
I am terribly awkward. so awkward I cannot help but cringe when i forsee an awkward situation and always make things worse when i try to salvage the situation by trying to be less awkward.

awkward kid is an awkward kid :(

It just sucks when you thought you were actually quite special to someone but then you find
out that you're actually just another person he/she talks to - like when he/she's bored and just talks to sort of conversation.

hah three posts in a day. ending this post with a birthday (ooops its belated) wish to my sister!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINEYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cannot see her as her age because she is forever a bespectacled short haired girl in my mind.